


(Im)practical and Questionably Functional

by elleavantemm



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-12
Updated: 2012-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-29 09:43:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/318530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elleavantemm/pseuds/elleavantemm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duo brings Heero Christmas shopping under the guise of needing help picking out a present for Relena.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Im)practical and Questionably Functional

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the prompt "consumerism" for the winter round of the livejournal Advent Challenge.

Heero’s mouth was set into a deep frown. He followed behind Duo who was jauntily walking between aisles, braid whipping back and forth; Heero repressed the impulse to reach out and grab it, as previous experience had taught him that it wasn’t a very good idea. All around them were shelves piled to their limit with _stuff_. Heero didn’t understand why anyone would ever choose to buy this stuff; most of it was ridiculous - a banana slicer? really? - and not in any way functional, at least not in any manner that Heero was capable of fathoming.

“What are we looking for?” he called to Duo who turned abruptly down an aisle to the right.

“I’m looking for a present for Relena. You know that; it is the sole purpose of your presence.”

Heero rolled his eyes. “What’s on that list in your hand? Don’t you have something picked out for her already?”

Duo turned around, braid making a wide arc and hitting several boxes on the shelf. “Heero Yuy,” he said definitively. “One does not just _decide_ what to buy the Vice Foreign Minister.”

Heero rolled his eyes once more. “What are you even talking about?”

“Mostly I don’t want to buy her something that her assistant would buy for her.”

“So you’re looking to buy her something else that she absolutely doesn’t need and will never use.”

“If I bought her anything different the poor girl would probably have a heart attack.” This was untrue; Duo had many times in the past purchased tasteful and thoughtful gifts for Relena.

“Why are you being so difficult?”

“Why are you being so grumpy?”

The two men stared at each other. The air was tense between them, the only sound the cheerful melody of Christmas music playing over the speakers and the occasional chatter of other customers as they passed along the aisle.

“I hate Christmas, okay?” Heero said after several long seconds had gone by.

Duo’s mouth dropped open. “I’m sorry, it sounded like you just said you hate Christmas.”

“I did. I do. All this rampant consumerism. What does any of this have to do with the holiday? Did you see the banana slicer that we passed? Who needs a banana slicer!?”

“It’s the joy of giving, Heero.”

“I’d rather you gave me something that I need rather than something that will end up in a closet somewhere collecting dust.”

“Christmas presents aren’t supposed to be practical. They should be something that you enjoy!”

“Would I enjoy having a banana slicer? Is that something that would enrich my life somehow?”

“Maybe I’ll get you one and we’ll find out,” Duo taunted. Heero’s frowned returned and his eyes narrowed. “What would you like for Christmas, then, Heero?” Duo asked with a dramatic sigh.

“Nothing.”

Duo crossed his arms and a smirk pulled at his mouth. “You had better come up with something, otherwise I am going to buy you the most ridiculous, least functional Christmas present that I can think of.”

“Did you just threaten me with presents?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t want anything for Christmas, Duo. Really.”

“You have until the time we leave to come up with something, so think carefully.”

They wandered around the department store for well over an hour, Duo picking out gifts for Trowa and Quatre - a wine decanter set to replace the one that had broken at their anniversary party; Wufei - a recent publication of Modern East Asian poetry by an author he had mentioned casually in passing; Sally - a brand new leather bound journal to replace the one that was full and falling apart; Noin and Zechs - a book for new parents, even if they didn’t know they needed it yet.

Last was Relena’s present. It wasn’t until they were approaching the jewelery counter that Heero began to get suspicious. Duo gave some information to the sales clerk behind the display case, who nodded once, returning momentarily with a distinctive velveteen box which suggested expensive jewelry, a charm nestled within. The gift was actually both tasteful and thoughtful, despite Duo’s previous inference otherwise. It was a sterling silver charm for a bracelet that her adoptive father, the late Vice Foreign Minister, had given her before he died. She wore it rarely, which made the gift that much more special. This charm had been specially cut into the shape of a Gundam.

“Well, that’s everyone on my list.”

“I though you brought me along to help pick out a present for Relena,” Heero said curiously.

“Oh. Right.” Duo hesitated, obviously caught at his deception. “Well... I guess I just forgot that I’d picked something out already.”

“Uh-huh.” Heero’s disbelief was evident. What was Duo’s ulterior motive? Was it all just a ruse to get Heero a present? “What about Lady Une? Mariemaia?”

“Lady Une’s Christmas present involves all of my mission reports being handed in before Christmas.”

Heero chuckled. “Have you ever handed a mission report in on time?”

“No. That’s what makes it a present.” They began to head towards customer service. “This is your last chance, Heero. Did you think of something you’d like for Christmas?”

“I don’t want anything.”

Duo shrugged.

In all honesty, Heero wasn’t that surprised to find a banana slicer wrapped in four layers of paper with a big red bow on it stuffed his stocking in the cavernous den at the Winner Estate where they always spent Christmas together. He chuckled when the others pulled similarly wrapped gifts from their own stockings. There was no indication who it was from, but it wasn’t much of a stretch to figure it out. A banana slicer; consumerism at its finest.

What was surprising, however, was the large, neatly wrapped box with Heero’s name on it underneath the tree. The scrawl on the tag was easily identifiable as Duo’s, and Heero’s eyes flew up to meet his friend’s as his finger slipped under the first fold and lifted the tape. For some reason Heero felt as though he should take his time with the paper, lifting each fold as though it were something delicate. His eyes widened comically as the wrapping fell away to reveal a vacuum food sealer. “Wow...Thanks, Duo. It’s... great.”

His eyes slid around the room, taking stock of Duo’s thoughtful gifts for everyone else, each recipient very carefully avoiding his eyes.

“Open the box, you dolt,” Duo replied with a grin.

Heero lifted the lid of the box and it seemed as though for a moment he stopped breathing. “Duo...”

“I know how much you love outer space. I figured this might help you feel closer to the stars, even when you aren’t.”

Heero pulled a tripod, and a high quality carrying case out of the box.

“What is it?” the other pilots asked, leaning forward to get a look.

“It’s a telescope,” Heero replied quietly. “Thank you, Duo. Really.”

While the Christmas season always seemed to bring out the most ridiculous consumer items that manufacturers could think of, Heero thought he might have to revise his opinion on gift giving.


End file.
